Apparently everyone else already knew this, but second pregnancies are, like, super uncomfortable! More so than firsts! Every stage along the way – the more dramatic morning sickness, the much-quicker bigness, the extreme feelings of heaviness and achiness – my midwife has nodded sympathetically and said, “Yes, I always hear that about second pregnancies.” Oh REALLY? And no one thought to MENTION this to me? And by the way, is there a curve here? Like, it’s the worst during your third pregnancy, and by your fourth it’s smooth sailing? Because there are ladies who have a lot of children out there. I mean, whatever, I’m happy to be here where I am, happy the baby’s big and healthy, blah blah blah. But you know. Ouch, man.
So one restless night I was thinking of writing a post about the joys of pregnancy called something like “You pee when you cough and it bleeds when you poo,” but I’m trying to stay positive here. So instead, here is my ode to the one pregnancy-related product that really has a place in my heart, and my recommendation for anyone else silly enough to get pregnant over and over: the Snoogle.
Stretch-mark creams are, I’m pretty sure, a hoax; I guzzle pregnancy tea even though I know it probably doesn’t do anything either. But my one true love (I mean except for my supportive husband and whatever) is this huge, weird-looking, ridiculously-named body pillow.
Laugh if you must. Adam sure did when this boa-constrictor of a cushion arrived in a box the size of a limousine. It takes up half the bed, yes. It’s called the Snoogle, yes. But this pillow is no joke. This pillow is my savior.
During my first pregnancy I pooh-poohed body pillows. What could they do that a rolled-up blanket and a throw pillow between the knees couldn’t? Why were pregnant women such suckers that they would buy such stupid products? Then this year my mother-in-law sweetly sent the Snoogle for a Christmas present, and for the first time I knew what it was to sleep, pregnant, without back pain. It even comes with diagrams of all the helpful snuggly ways it can snoogle you into comfy oblivion! Sit on it, donut style, for those after-giving-birth ouches! Use it as a nursing pillow! And each position has its own name!
Sure, it leaves little room in bed for, say, your husband. Sure, it acts as a kind of don’t-fricking-touch-me barrier at night. But oh man, does my back feel better each morning. And the Snoogle never takes snuggling as an overture to something…more.
The Snoogle just… snoogs.