My Baby Is Actually Very Interesting

I'd like to see your baby do this.

You know what’s boring? Other people’s newborns. Have you ever noticed this? They sort of just snooze around. They don’t play peek-a-boo and they don’t smile and they can’t hold their heads up which makes them terrifying to hold. They are semi-cute but usually only semi-, being all squishy and squinty still, not to mention the infant acne and near-constant poops. They’re just a little…weird.

One of Alton's many amazing skills.

Throughout my second pregnancy, I harbored a secret fear that I would find my own newborn a bit, well. You know. Boring. I remember finding Harper quite fascinating as an infant, and thinking that she displayed clear evidence of her burgeoning personality in every blink and gurgle and finger-twitch. Now that she’s an actual person, I realize I may have been a bit blinded by new-parent-love. You know what’s personality? Calling a carrot “Miss Clavell.” Nursing for three hours straight is one thing, but demanding to hear “Da Do Ron Ron” for three hours straight is slightly more amusing. This kid picks out her own wacky outfits and comes up with quips like “I need ice for my sad,” and “Little Bunny Tofu hopping through the forest,” and “I love Mama the best.” Good stuff.

But as it turns out, her newborn baby brother IS EXTREMELY INTERESTING! Just today, he nursed for about three hours straight. Sometimes he blinked. Sometimes he curled up his little fingers. Then he fell asleep. ISN’T THAT SO CUTE?

Sleeping in the sling! Gah!

Seriously, I know a lot of new babies and luckily for me, Alton is truly the most amazing. I mean, he snoozes in his car seat. He snoozes in the sling. He snoozes in his crib. He did tummy time today and he spit up and then smooshed his face in his spit up. It was SERIOUSLY ADORABLE.  And then he spaces off and stares at the corner for a few minutes. Then he nurses some more. Then it looks like he’s thinking but really he just poops. And then he falls asleep again! I can’t really stand how cute it all is. And I can’t get over how I find it all so novel and endearing, even the second time, even while Harper marches her ballerinas over Alton’s head and then sits in the buzzy seat and shouts, “I am a little baby! I have a big poop!”

It is certainly a clever trick of evolution or something that mothers find their babies so interesting, because I have noticed that other people do not seem to find Alton as completely absorbing as I do. They are mistaken, of course. Or they just haven’t really gotten to know him that well yet, since he’s constantly attached to my boob. Or sleeping. Or pooping.

And I thought he would be boring!

"Hm, thought-provoking post, Mother."