Guest Post: The Perfect Mommy Steps In

Hi all! So, Amy has been totally neglecting this blog, and today she’s all distracted by the HUGE SCARY FRANKENSTORM that she thinks she’s prepared for because she bought some water and snack bars – she’s so funny! Anyway, so she asked me (hi! It’s me, of The Perfect Mommy Blog!) to step in. Don’t let my blog’s silly name fool you, though. I’m soooo not perfect! Oh that reminds me, I wanted to show you the cutest picture:

Lunchtime! We do a different classical composer everyday. So silly, I know, but it’s just fun! Man, do my kids love their veggies — and their Mozart. Those goofs!

Poor Amy has been so overwhelmed lately. Every night I text her to see why she hasn’t posted anything – I just think those Brooklyn moms are a hoot – and she’s like, “So tired. Stop texting me.” I get it – I update my blog every day, so I know it’s no joke time-wise, plus I have 9 children under the age of 10 (4 sets of twins, what are the chances?? Lol) who I homeschool in a carefully researched Waldorf-inspired style. Amy’s always like, “You seem so productive and super-happy, Perfect Mom, what’s your secret?” I tell her, there’s no secret, silly, just good graphic design, dreamy photo filters, and some careful planning.

Just a candid shot of us lazing around the house. Excuse the mess! So embarrassing!

For one thing, as my husband, my best friend who I am madly in love with, will tell you, I’m a little bit of a neat freak. But I stay organized with a simple chore chart — the little ones LOVE pitching in! I don’t know what it is, but my kids just adore chores.

I make mealtime super-duper easy by growing all my own organic fruits and vegetables in our garden – the kids love to help, and outdo each other by eating the most vegetables. Whatever works, you know? This allows me to keep my monthly grocery shopping budget under $150. Really, all it takes is some planning – here’s my PDF of all the essentials you need for a month of feeding 11 hungry people on a budget – so easy!  Then one weekend a month my girlfriends and I get together and cook 90 meals – breakfast, lunch, and dinner – from scratch to freeze. It’s so easy and fun! Here’s one of our favorites – my kids all love it. 

Homeschooling is really such a snap, too – I keep the younger ones busy with a cardboard box and some lids, which they will play with quietly for hours and hours, I promise you. I keep costs down by making all our books out of handmade paper from our own mulched logs. You see what I mean? Easy! I’m just lucky that my older girls teach the younger kids Latin while I make everyone’s clothes from scratch every morning. And they are so not perfect! Just look at this messy little romper I threw together in two seconds — sorry for the bad cellphone pic!

The suitcase is full of toys she insists she’s ready to donate to poor children in Africa. Where does she get these ideas? Haha

Sure, with so many little ones it’s hard to stay sane. We keep things simple by naming all the girls Kendra and all the boys Wyatt. Then we can reuse the letterpressed birthday party invites and personalized bunting. And you can’t forget about “me” time, so one night a week I make my hubby’s favorite dinner, set the table with fresh flowers and candles, get all dressed up, and put the kids to bed early, so that I can focus on my sweet guy. I know what you’re thinking – look out, or soon we’ll be seeing numbers 10 and 11! Lol! Really, those kids hardly even let me create a downloadable PDF of my favorite recipes or jam jar labels or paper dolls. Maybe I’ll get a TV one of these days.

I made this fully-functioning space ship in like two seconds with some old boxes and tin foil. Seriously, so easy!

Anyway, I’m just saying, moms out there, I totally get it. I don’t judge moms like Amy for their love of yoga pants, frozen chicken nuggets, and toddler iPad apps. It’s not easy being a Perfect Mommy Blogger ™! Just ask, well, me! Lol!

OMG, so embarrassing – my hubby snapped these candid pics of me just shlubbing around on a Saturday morning on the way home from the farmer’s market. Eek! Sorry about that. Ok, time to go make some Eggs Benedict for the little monsters!

Malka’s Miniature Room

The other day Harper declared Malka to be her best, best friend. This was after some quality time spent engaged in Harper’s favorite friend-activity, namely, holding hands and running and falling down. Just like true best friends, they spend a lot of time being sort of awful to each other. But lately an amazing thing has happened. On a playdate Malka’s mother (the accomplished poet and YA author Carley Moore, who also makes a killer smoothie) and I realized we hadn’t heard from the girls in a while. After a moment of cold dread, we found them happily playing together in Malka’s sweet little room. After two and a half years of parallel play interrupted now and then by knock-down-drag-out brawls, this is a very thrilling developmental milestone. Malka is an older woman, having already turned 3, and I think her maturity might be rubbing off on not-quite-two-and-a-half Harper.

I believe the sweetness of Malka’s room has something to do with their congenial play. There is just something about this room (and the whole apartment) that feels like home, that reminds me of what I loved about being a child and my own room growing up– a relaxed, homey warmth.

Here’s what Carley has to say about the 9×12 room and how it came together: “My mom, Judy Haller of Jamestown, New York, made both of the quilts.  The purple one she made for Malka when she was born and it’s made from fabrics that we’re designed to look like childrens’ fabrics from the 1940s.  I love some of those patterns–the tiny kittens and the hearts, very retro.”

” The second one (the red and blue one), my mom made last year for Malka at Christmas.  I love the reds and blues and that there is a different panel for every month.  I come from a long-line of quilt makers–most of the women in my family quilt (my mom, my aunts, my grandma) so it’s special to have these in Malka’s room.  Plus, they are so one-of-a-kind–the quilter’s vision is always so interesting to me, kind of like a writer’s voice.”

“Shells–Malka loves shells and jewelry.  We try to arrange those on her dresser, and she rearranges often.  She sometimes tries to sleep with her shells she loves them so much.” [Ed. note: Also My Little Pony! Hello, wave of nostalgia! YES!]

“The new bookcase.  It’s a piece of crap from Ikea–a Billy to be exact.  I don’t want to knock the Billy though.  We have many of them in our house full of books.  I always say that I won’t buy another, but they are so cheap and they fit a lot of stuff.  Now Malka has some bins for tiny things like cars, paper dolls, and beads, and all of her books and puzzles fit in one place.  Yay!”

“Matt’s father made the Malka collage when she was born.  He’s a painter and collage maker.”

I think it only fair to note that this room was spic-and-span when we arrived, but the girls immediately pulled down one of the toy bins and got to work making music and playing. I’m telling you, this room WORKS!

You know what else I think helps make this home so cozy and warm? The excellent design choice of cats draped luxuriously here and there.

Also, Malka has a kick-ass doll house that really reminds me of the Fisher Price one I used to have.

So there you have it. And now, let us hold hands and run in the fields together. Metaphorically, I mean, of course.

Hello, Greenwood Playschool, How Are You?

I was sitting here thinking of how to write this post and experienced a brain-montage of “talking! doing! making!” moments. Listening to a friend talk about how she’d started a playschool co-op for her daughter. Sitting on the bench in front of the bakery, casually mentioning the idea to another mom-friend. Gathering notes. Trading ideas. Meetings and playdates along the way with various baked goods in tow (this, before the second children started to appear). Interviewing teachers. Having sample lessons with teachers. Running up all those steps. Wait. That last one maybe wasn’t us.

Anyway, here it is, it’s started! We’ve had two-and-a-half weeks of playschool (we have to call it playschool or the accredited-preschool cops will bust down Beth’s  beautiful door). It’s been, honestly, better than I ever imagined. The kids are so READY. When we started talking about this process, many of us weren’t sure 2-year-olds even needed any kind of school, which was part of what made paying 8 zillion dollars for a Park Slope Sprouts Something feel silly.  Now that they are all two-and-a-half or thereabouts, they are just so ready and so into it.

Our teacher Cyndi is amazing — smart, funny, easy-going, creative, and so energetic I think she might not be actually human. I was the TA on the first day, and it was too rainy to really play outside much. Cyndi took one look at the bouncing bunch and announced that it was jumping time. And then they sang a song and jumped up and down.  Over and over. It was amazing. They are also doing schoolier stuff too — learning days of the week and talking about weather and sitting nicely for snacks and reading stories and having choice time and doing art projects…it’s so cute I might explode.

Impressively, everyone’s done really great with the separation. Harper freaked out a little the first time I left but since has been completely fine. Every morning we go over it. “And then you come back?” “Yes.” “You’ll come get me?” “Yes.” “Is Ollie going to be there?” “Ollie will stay with me and we will come pick you up.” Then she asks me what color Cyndi will be wearing. “Will it be purple Cyndi or orange Cyndi?” “I don’t know.” “Because why?” “Because…um…get your backpack.”

Harper loves the routines. She comes home and immediately commences to play school like it’s her job. Which it sort of is, I guess. She doles out spots. She sits down cubbies. She sings the hello song and goodbye song in an endless loop. She only answers to the name “Pretend Cyndi.” It’s all just a very satisfying response.

If anyone is interested in starting a co-op, or wondering how to go about it, or has any advice for us as we proceed through our school year, let me know! I can’t say how pleased I am with how it’s going. I feel so lucky to have found this group of moms and kids, too.  Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s choice time. And my choice is always to read. (By which I mean sleep, obviously.)