Today I think I did everything right. We were out of the house early, in the natural scorching Venusian sunlight. She ran around on the playground. She ran in the sprinklers. She completed her 40-minute-a-day swing regimen. We walked to the Y, where she hung out in Childwatch until one of the babysitters scurried over to fetch me, traumatized by the poop-of-a-homeless-alcoholic Harper had unleashed upon them, not that I could attend to this right away because the room of the Baby Bootcamp class (yes) was sealed shut by the humidity and we were all stuck, which is pretty much the story of my life I guess. After this adventure, she enjoyed some wholesome but not-sugary snacks, and once the baby was asleep in his crib, we sat in her room to read some relaxing literature.
ONE HOUR LATER she was still twisting and turning with goony Dan Rather eyes, valiantly fighting that evil thing called sleep. I mean, I’ve tried everything, I think: the quiet restful morning, the jam-packed activity morning, the stroller nap, cry-it-out, reading-and-singing, hypnosis, fury, barbiturates. Will somebody please tell me what I’m missing?
Meanwhile, just think what life could be like if she actually didn’t need to nap anymore. Instead of returning home every day at 11:30 to wind down for the daily siege, we could be out and about, perhaps even leaving the borough now and then. I daydream about trips to frosty museums, traveling to Queens for exotic snacks, meeting Daddy for lunch in the city. Unfortunately, when she does skip her nap, by 4 pm she’s a strung-out-looking wilted wisp of herself, prone to tears at the literal drop of a literal hat. So then I feel like a pretty crappy mother. Especially if that happens to have been the day when after one child’s nap refusal involved purposefully interrupting the other child’s nap I actually did throw Special Baby Doll against the wall.
Just kidding, I would never throw Special Baby Doll against the wall.
Just kidding, I would. Um.
Any naptime tips? I have to figure out how to help Alton be a better napper, and he’s about to be 4 months old which is when that sleep guy says you have to start the sleep stuff! Otherwise just think of what poor Special Baby Doll will look like in a few years.