I have wasted tens of dollars on cute, squeezy little bath toys that soon glower with moldy guts and have to be disposed of in the dead of the night, only to be asked about weeks later. “Where’s Gail the Snail? I need her!” For a while I was tried real hard to pretend a set of white plastic measuring cups was plenty fun for bath time. I just couldn’t crack the bath toy conundrum. I mean, really, what the hell? I feel bad enough that these rubber duckies are going to be floating in the ocean until the end times. They might as well provide more than 3 months of entertainment before floating out to confuse Tahitian dolphins, right?
So I thought others might appreciate this: I finally found the perfect bath toys.
These Alex boats are solid plastic, so there’s no insides for water to get trapped and yuckify in. They float, obviously, so that’s fun. They also connect and stack. More fun. They are pleasing, gender-neutral colors, which is good because you know Alton’s inheriting them. They are plain enough to be transformed into anything. “Look, Harper, it’s like the tugboats we saw at the Red Hook Harbor!” “What? Mama, no, they are fairy boats.”
Also, we are very into personality-infused washcloths. The real stars of the show are and have been Froggie and Ducky (Adam does a great Froggie that is somewhere between Elvis and Kenny Powers, in a family-friendly way of course), but I find them to be too thick and heavy, so that they never quite dry out all the way, which is sort of unfortunate, by which I mean totally disgusting. We recently welcomed Little Twig’s very adorable (and quick-drying!) Ladybug and Bumble Bee into our musty collection, and they spend a lot of time gobbling bath-bubble-pollen and aphids. I find them to be superior products, but they will have to work hard to supplant the charismatic F&D power-couple.
And oh man, wanna know a secret? Harper’s newest obsession is “colorful baths.” So gross! And yet, the kid loves a nice purple soak at the end of a long day of sipping organic milk and wearing $17 all-natural California Baby BS Sunscreen. I’d definitely recommend this completely bizarre product, Color Bath Dropz (with a z), for reluctant bathers with non-squeamish parents.
Who knew this would become such a pressing topic to me? And yet, I actually spend time thinking about it. And writing about it. As Froggie would say, “That’s crazy, man.”